Makes me laugh...

Why on earth would William and Kate choose this kid for their flower girl?

She must be someone important's child because she was horrendous, so angry the whole time!

A Place To Date...

My Friend Brad Arnold is upset that I haven't mentioned Oportos as a good date spot. He and I went on a date once upon a time... and I repeat the once... for the following reason/s. 


We went for drink at Ravesis in Bondi (which I think is great date spot Barnold!). I proceeded to get extremely drunk and demand he take me to Oportos. Not only did I abuse the staff for taking too long with my burger (read: Large triple Oportos meal with fries), I then scoffed, mauled- he later described it as inhaled- my triple oporto burger and then his too.


Yes, we only had one date, But thanks for the Oportos Brad.


Anyway Oportos is a terrible date spot, nothing good is going to happen there. 


I'll just mention here that if you were going to start with a drink at ravesis, there is food there and also there are limitless small wine bars opening around bondi now. Used to be the good old beach rd, but now there's a heap. My favourites date spots for Bondi are Flying squirrell, Mojo's, The rum diaries, Corner house, Mamasan (pricey but good), Speak Easy, Bondi FM, Shop & wine bar and BB's wine bar. All good for a first. I'll go into them at a later time. 


But for Now....

A few weeks ago for my sisters birthday we went to Rambutan in Surry Hills. I'd been there previously but not with a big group. Whether you are there for a date or with a group, it's a great space. Dimly light with a casual atmosphere, cocktails that could take you straight to AA and things to talk about (perhaps on a first date to get conversation going). We went there with 10 girls, paid $55 each for the banquet, ate to our little hearts content and bought our drinks separately to avoid confusion at the end. Awesome night. Highly recommended.


A rambutan is an asian tropical fruit that has a taste like a lychee and is covered by a furry red shell. 




Rambutan has a cocktail longue downstairs so you can just go there for a drink. The pina colada comes on fire in a coconut- just for a change!

My beautiful boyfriend took me to Longrain for date night. It's not one to be forgotten. I think people forget how good it is! Miangs, oysters, slow cooked lamb shoulder... The lychee passionfruit cocktail is every girls dream. We had agedashi (salt and pepper tofu) that was second to none. It's a bit bare so you wouldn't want to go there for a very first date, but definitely as things move along. They are opening up a cocktail bar downstairs so very soon you'll be able to pop in for one of their long list of cocktails. 

Recently in Bali I went to the indonesian version of longrain called Sarong located in Seminyak. The decor is tropical and homely (if being homely is straight out a gay couple's home featured in vogue living). If you were to have a wedding in Bali, this would definitely be a place to consider.

Why Men Love Bitches...

I know I've been through the self-help relationship books before but I am surrounded by single friends at the moment and recently one of the people closest to me has just been told for the second time in a relationship "you're just too good for me" (which is true by the way). So why don't men like girls that are too nice? 


Every girl I know who is an absolute bitch to their boyfriend, they fight, they argue, she ends up winning- ends up getting engaged. (I'm not saying all girls who are married or engaged are bitches, I'm saying the bitches always end up having the man fall head over cock for them). 


I was sitting in the back seat of my best friends car when I picked up this book called "Why men love bitches". I turn to any random page to find a paragraph about how men are hunters and they like the hunt. When they take down a powerful woman and make her fall for him they feel like they have accomplished Mount Everest. 


I have to agree. Everyone knows the 'Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen' phrase, but how do you keep them in the long run? What happened to the men who wanted to be cooked for, have their washing and ironing done and the woman who will sit with you when you're sick? I think this is just an old school want and need from yesteryear. 


The truth is men today want to be kept on their toes, they want you to go out with your girlfriends instead of sitting on the couch making them dinner. But it's a fine line.. an impossibly fine line involving many games. 

Another book I was given as a teenager is called 'The men in your life'. This book is written by a French woman who writes under different categories such as 'oaths' 'taming' and 'gigolo'. She also talks about the hunt and how to compliment the person you are most attracted to in a way that you will bag him for life. It's a great read with a non-Australian point of view... and to be honest, I do think the French have a point. 

We all hate to love Brownies...

My friend Nicola came over yesterday and asked me what dessert she could make for some friends that were coming for dinner.


Something simple and something sweet.... (bell rings) Brownies!


The problem with brownies is that well, Brownies are like boys. They can look so tempting from the outside even if they look a bit effortless, but when you have a taste of them, they're too dense, too flaky, not rich enough to be your brownie... and after just one taste you know, this is not the brownie you've been looking for. 


But a good brownie... a good brownie can make you lose all control, take you to places you've only ever dreamed of and that good brownie makes you not want any of those other brownies you've tasted before, you just want this brownie. 


The problem is, not everyone can make a good brownie, for starters it's hard not to get burned or to burn them in return. And what if it crumbles last minute and cant impress the friends you've invited for dinner?


Everyone has their own taste in a brownie. You might think your best friend's brownie choice are always the rich ones with no depth... thin almost, she might wonder why you always go for the nutty brownies!


I have the answer and these brownies are made by Phillippa. Thanks Pippa! Although I do make a good brownie, these brownies are pretty awesome. They come in a slab so you can decide how big or small you want each brownie to be. Phillippa also makes amazing bread and nut mixes. I buy from Thomas Dux but i know other sydney stores sell them too. 


Check out her website to find stockists near you: http://www.phillippas.com.au/


Here is my simple brownie dessert:


1. Depending on how many people you are having for dinner, get one or two slabs of Phillipa's chocolate brownies.  


2. Cut the brownies length ways into three even parts then cut them side ways in 5 equal parts to make even shaped individual brownies. 


3. Get some icing sugar in a sifter ready.


4. Place each brownie on a plate just before serving and heat for 30 seconds on high in a microwave. Place one big scoop of ice cream beside it and and sprinkle with icing sugar. 


5. You can cut the green tops off strawberries and halve them and place a few on each plate for some extra flavour and styling. 


There you have it... the answer we've all been looking for. 


And finally why wouldn't you just go and buy brownies from a cafe and use them for dessert, well... you could but this involves you doing some 'cooking' and no one need to know you paid for brownies because you couldn't make one yourself! 

Sharing a secret...

I am the Queen if the modern land of drunken text, to the point where i pick a fight, repeatedly text 15 or more times asking people what they are doing at... well let's see... 4 in the morning to try and wake them up and then finally end the war with serious amount of question marks. Firstly one ? then a ????? then a ????????????. I love telling people I sat on my phone.... (because girls generally have phones in their pocket and all!) 

Who are victims of this texting abuse... anyone who is my phone. Warning: watch your back next time you consider giving me your number. Thats not even a joke. 

I would like to say I have said goodbye to this addiction since being with my boyfriend... but i'd be telling a lie. Just the other night he texted me to tell me he had got us 2 free tickets to the Easter show. 

The sober Zoe's reaction would have been... 

"I Freaking love the Easter Show and even more I love free things". 

Drunken Zoe (who we like to call frank the tank) asks "who from?""does she have a crush on you?""Take her instead". 

WOW. Where did this eruption come from? I'll tell you: berry mojito number 6! 

Now I do like to blame certain types of alcohol. I'm commonly heard saying "Rose and White wine make me do it" and the numerous times I drink something else and still text, I just blame it on the evil two. Realistically, I have a drunken texting problem. 

I'm not going to joke and say I'm an alcoholic because binge drinking and alcoholism is a major problem and costs lives. But this is a major threat to my social life and my ability to have any friends left. 

So what is the answer to this problem? I scooped up some old books the other day.. One being A book written by Aussie's Zoe Foster and Hamish Blake. It's called Textbook Romance. Interestingly enough i got it from my Secret Santa two years ago, once again, my problem is so well-known that my dear friend Ellie feels she needs to buy me self-help books! 

It's a seriously funny book with great advice and a guy's point of view!

It hasn't cured my problem yet, but it is a book that beats you on the head and says "stop it you freak". 

My personal piece of advice to end this post is: If you have had to delete his number from your phone to stop yourself from texting because he hasn't texted you- that is not how relationships start. If you're looking for some fun, go ahead. If not... find someone else. 

A book I'm reading...

As I was standing at Sydney airport waiting to go to Bali and our plane had been delayed 50 billion times, I walked into the bookshop to find Anthony Kiedis staring at me. The front cover of his book has caught my eye before but I generally don't like to read books that I know everyone has read. Anyway it was this book or a book about how many times Shane Warne has cheated on poor Simooooooone. So in my possession was this new book- "Scar Tissue" By Anthony Kiedis- lead singer of The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Great. 


As I started to get about half way through, I fell into his world of  drug abuse, having a dysfunctional family life but with a mother who never stopped trying, a Dad he shouldn't have looked up to and a string of random and lifesaving events that lead him, his old mate flea and the rest of the band to stardom. 


Pretty amazing story with, as you can imagine, many in depth sexual encounters and detailed drug abuse. An easy read that will leave you thinking about the 'if's' and 'buts' of life and how we glorify the rich and successful criminals, thugs and thieves who have made it into Hollywood instead of a cell.... or those who are lucky enough to have seen both sides of the story.

"Sometimes life's so much cooler when you just don't know any better and all the painful lessons have not hammered your head open yet."
Anthony Kiedis

Adele 21

Presenting to you- Adele 21.


Even though I have listened to Adele before and her 19 album and i know this second album has been released for a while, I haven't fallen in love until now.


The song 'One and only' sounds like you are listening to a 50 year old African American jazz musician- her voice is husky but clear, pitchy but on purpose to create a song that I wont get sick of listening to over and over again.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78mlPQEmbOA

Miang (Betel Leaf) Recipe

This is a food for friends recipe that is perfect to start a meal. It serves about 4 or 5 people. 

What you need:

1 cup Chopped Shallots

1 cup Peanuts

3 Thai chillis

1 cup shredded coconut

2 limes (one for styling)

200 grams prawns or tuna sashimi

And for the dressing....

1 chopped shallot

1/2 piece of fresh ginger- or 3 tbsp of crushed ginger

1 tbsp shrimp paste or salmon xox sauce

2 tbs shredded roasted coconut

1 cup of water

1/2 a cup of palm sugar- can use brown sugar.

20 Betel leaves

NOTE: Betel leaves, shrimp paste and palm sugar are only found in asian supermarkets but coles and woolies are getting better at stocking asian sauces and spices. See below for a betel leaf, they actually come from a pepper tree. 

What to do:

I would start by washing the betel leaves in a strainer and putting them on a clean tea towel to let them dry. If you are using sashimi tuna you don't cook it, if you are using uncooked prawns then cook them in some butter or sesame oil. Don't overcook prawns they need to be in a hot pan no longer then 4-5 mins until hey turn pink, which depends on the size of the prawn. Roughly cut up the tuna or prawns so that they are about 1cm x 1cm. Place tuna or cooked prawns in a bowl and mix together with shallots, coconut and lime juice. To prepare the chilies cut them in half, scrape out the seeds with a knife and the white part in the middle too (this is the hottest part). Then slice the chilies across ways into thin strips (See video- Thanks youtube!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PV5bvCODRo. Mix the chilies in and the peanuts too. Mix the sauce ingredients into a measuring cup or small bowl and combine with all ready prepared mixture of prawn or tuna. 

How to serve: 

Place the betel leaves on a plate and arrange them nicely and not on top of each other. Place a spoonful of mixture on each and you can crush some more peanuts and put them on top of each leaf for a bit of styling. You can also put some of the coconut in a frying pan with a dash of oil until lightly golden and place on top. Place a wedge of lime on the plate for effect. 

How to eat:

You eat the leaf by wrapping up the mixture inside and putting in your mouth, leaf and all. People get really impressed by this dish. You could also make it with smoked trout or cooked/sashimi salmon. 

Remember:

If you use sashimi you have to get it from the fish monger, you cant just use any ordinary fish from the shop and eat it raw. It may have been frozen and thawed. 

Being in Bali

Okay Okay I know I'm a bit late on the Bali fascination, it's close to Australia, it has amazing food and culture and it is cheap on the little chips.

So why have I never ventured here before when I have travelled crazy distances to get to lands where they eat things called spotted dick and black pudding- the answer is.... I have no idea!

I have loved every second of being in Bali. The constant beeping on the road from scooters carrying a heavy load of furniture, mirrors and seriously... babies and kids... just going along for the ride. The culture and hinduism is incredible. The people are beautiful and need tourists to help their economy.

Yesterday I went Elephant riding- the man who looked after the Elephant was called Jully- the tip I gave him of $10 Australia dollars paid his rent for a month. Apart from that I held a baby Orangutang and a baby leopard. Unfortunately these animals are not treated well and I in no way condone the use of these animals for money, but it is the way of life here and it is their livelihood.

So here are is what I have done in Bali:

A place to stay-

My two sisters and I have shared a room at the W retreat and Spa- Seminyak. It cost around $250 each between 3 of us per night. 3 people can share a room and it's a way of keeping the cost down. You can also get private vallas with their own plunge pool. The spa is amazing! It's located right on Seminyak Beach and in the heart of the shopping and eateries. In Bali everything is quite spread out so you take  5 cent per minute taxi wherever you want to go! There are loads of villas and cheaper places to stay in Seminyak and it's a great area. Only downfall about the W is that there is rooster that crows non stop... but funnily enough once my sister Liz ordered a chicken club sandwich from room service, it stopped. hmmmm.....

http://www.starwoodhotels.com/whotels/property/overview/index.html?propertyID=3221

A place to eat-

There are so many great places i don't know where to start...
The three that stand out that cannot be missed are Sarong and Ku De Ta- both in Seminyak and Sari Organics in Ubud.

- Sarong has asian fusion foods like Miangs (betal leaves with salmon and spices), lamb rogan josh and scallops that I will dream about from here on in. Between 3 sharing it cost about AUD$50 each and was well worth every penny! The setting is balinese and beautiful. Book days in advance because it's hard to get a booking.

http://sarongbali.com/

- Ku De Ta has a places for full meals and also a place for pickings... I am a picking kind of girl but i tried both. HHHHAAAAmazing. It is located on Seminyak beach where you get the pink and orange sunset at around 6:15pm and the cocktails have a healthy amount of alcohol in them... and I mean healthy. If you want gadgets and gift, Balinese women sell trinkets out the front on the beach, remember to bargain!

http://kudeta.net/

- Sari Organics kind of hits 5 stones at once. You need to hire a taxi for the day of near Seminyak which will cost about $AUD25. You drive to Ubud which is an amazing village, you go past women doing Batik silk making on the way as well as silversmiths, some are dodgy, some are nice and you see the monkey conservation where you feed hundreds of monkeys bananas that you buy for AUD$1 from local women.  So the good part is walking through the rice paddies to Sari Organics. It's about a 20 minute walk, many photo opportunities and real balinese culture. The food is delicious and wait for it... Organic. Who would have guessed?

http://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g297701-d1422324-Reviews-Sari_Organic-Ubud_Bali.html

Apart from that others worth mentioning are Bali cafe in Seminyak and Blue Water Seafood in Jimburan Bay (Here you choose your seafood which is still alive and they cook it for you on the spot- you sit on the beach and little Balinese men serenade you for money)

A place to drink-

I have been excited to even write this down! I went to a place in Jimbaran called 'Rock Bar'. It's part of the Ayana Resort and Spa which is hotel that if you had the money and wanted to be secluded is the place to go! Pools overlooking vast ocean, places to eat beyond belief and shops to look at. You really wouldn't have to leave the hotel. Back to rock bar, you take a travelator down to the this rock cliff where you can watch the sunset over ocean as far as you can see. The cocktails are about AUS$15 each and again, they dont go easy on the alcohol in them so remember there are many stairs to get back up. You must dress up (by Bali standards) for this or they don't let you in, this means no singlets, no thongs and no labels/slogans on clothing. It was one of the most unbelievable experiences of my life. However, the cocktail waitresses are rude and ripped us off so even if you're going somewhere nice make sure you count your money in front of them of they'll change notes and say you haven't paid enough. Still it's a MUST DO! Take your camera.

http://www.ayanaresort.com/rockbarbali/wp/

A place to see-

My sisters and I went to Bali safari and Marine Park yesterday- you take a ride on a jeep bus train thing and on either, no kidding are African animals- like 2 metres from you. Then you can hold a baby Orangutang and pat a baby Leopard. If you have or know kids- you can stay in the park in a resort where you have breakfast with lions and see rhinos from your balcony. I know my niece and nephew would love that.

http://www.balisafarimarinepark.com

From there we went to Bakas Elephant tour about 30 mins from Bali safari. We went on elephants through water, through the mountain side and they did tricks with us on their back. Very safe even though I was terrified for parts- they're HUGE. But as my carer Jully explained to me- "if you fall off no good for me, I get no tip and then you don't tell your aussie friend to come". True Jully...true, gald you're concerned about my life. The carers take heaps of photos for you- and are obsessed at snapping away at the elephants metre long "doodoo", I think they mean doodle. My elephant, Andrew had "biggest doodoo, over metre long"- that made me proud and a little chuffed to be honest. Good work Andrew.

http://balielephantpark.com/elephant.html

A place to boat and swim-

We met a Balinese gentleman called "Mambo" on Nusa Dua beach. He drove us to another side of the beach and we went banana boating, donut riding and waterskiing. The water is warm and the rides are safe. Mambo owns Turtle Island and even though we didn't get there this time, it is a marine conservation and they have 600 baby turtles a year being born. Mambo will take you there and show you around. His cousin 'D' was one of our drivers for the week- We used him for 12 hours one day and he charged us AUD$27.

http://www.balistarisland.com/Bali-Adventure-Sightseeing/Turtleislandtours.html

A place to relax-

Body works, ohhhhh body works.... located in Seminyak and one in Ubud, this place is the business. Every treatment you can think of and for very little money. You also get a small Balinese lady climbing on your back and if you're concerned about nakedness, leave that at the door. Every part of your body is massaged while in your birthday suit.

Mani/ pedi- no words. Just bliss. Make a booking about an hour before and look around the shops just nearby.

http://bodyworksbali.com/

Speaking of drivers I'm going to give you the names of two. Their English and knowledge of Bali was second to none.

D: +6181337820122
Johnny: +6281999945899

You can do cooking classes for round AUD$50. You start with the markets and choose the produce then go into a kitchen and learn how to cook Nasi Goreng and other Balinese foods. One of these was in Ubud but have a look on the internet at menus of what you'd like to cook because there are a fair few.

Note that i havent mentioned Kuta... well just note it.

In Seminyak on the main strip are two shakuhachi stores which sell clothes much cheaper than in Australia.

I hope you come to Bali one day, as I've had the time of my life (cue Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze)... nobody puts baby in the corner.